Good Morning Starshine

The Earth says Hello!

So I'm at Caribou this morning getting a delicious vanilla latte and piece of banana bread. As I'm looking around I see one man enjoying his morning cup 'o joe and reading a book. He looks to be maybe late 40s early 50s - and I started to wonder what he does for a living that he is able to enjoy this time. Next to him was a man and a woman who seemed to be working. The woman was on an Apple laptop (which also made me think about how much I want an apple laptop) and I was curious as to what they were working on. I'm always intrigued to find out what people's deals are - what their story is. Someday when I'm brave enough I will walk up to someone at a coffee shop and ask them what their deal is. lol
People have so much going on in their lives that you would NEVER know at first glance. I wish it wasn't socially inappropriate to go up to strangers and just start asking them questions about their lives....I think it would be interesting and I think we could learn a lot about others and ourselves.

On that note - job update 2009: I got a new job! HOO-RAH!
Now some people might think I'm crazy being excited for my new job because of where and what it is - but they can suck it. Seriously.
My new job is working at the MN Department of Revenue as an Office and Administrative Specialist - Intermediate for the Corporate Tax Division. Now for those of you who do not know, I actually worked there for about a year, a couple years ago. When this job opening was out there, I emailed me old co-worker and found out that this job opening was her former job because she was just promoted. She talked to her old supervisor about me and put in a good word. She helped me through the process and gave me great advice for the interview. She emailed me soon after to let me know that 457 people applied for this job! 457!!!! But that I was chosen for an interview! I took the math, grammar and typing tests and passed and had my interview. That was last Friday and then on Tuesday afternoon I got a call saying that they would like to offer me the job!!! It was so surreal! So two days ago I wrote up my resignation letter and told my boss I was leaving. For as nervous as I was to go in and tell her - it felt AMAZING!!! For once I had the upper hand and felt in control of the situation with her. She was totally shocked and didn't really have much to say. Since then she has barely said two words to me. Its awesome. She has no more power over me and I feel free at work for the first time in a year. Since word here spreads like wildfire - people have been coming up to me and congratulating me and everything. And in them asking me about my new job most have asked why I'm leaving. I have felt very relieved about the fact that almost every person I've talked to has commented about not blaming me for wanting to leave since I work for Claudia (my boss/supervisor/headcase) - they have totally understood and have said that they couldn't work with her. lol So at least that confirms the fact that I'm not crazy and it is pretty apparent who she is, how she works with others and how she is persieved. So, I feel good about leaving. haha
So I know my job may sound so boring that you want to die - but I promise you, compared to what I'm dealing with right now, it sounds heavenly to me. I actually had one person say to me (when I told her where and what I was going to be doing) she told me that it sounded like the most boring thing ever. Seriously - who says that to someone? Especially when they are excited about it? People are really inconsiderate. Anywho - the fact is, I'm excited because this job will be so much more independant than my current job. I won't feel like I have to constantly check in with my supervisor and that they will actually trust me as a competent individual. I will have my own work to do - I will have my own space to do it in and I will actually feel like I'm doing something and contributing. That is something I do not have currently. It will also be STABLE! Which is huge right now since Rian and I are buying a house - I can't risk having a chance that I'll get laid off - and there would be a definite chance at tpt. Not messing with that at all. The biggest thing right now in having a new job is not stressing about work when I'm not there. I think about work all of the time and it really gets to me. I worry about being there even when I'm not there. I hate it. I am ready to have a job that I can leave everything there and not think about things and worry about things. It has put a damper on my entire life and I'm sick of it. I'm excited to have this new opportunity where I'm not anxious before, during and after work - so that i can put more energy into other things in my life. I've been thinking about possibly taking a class in the fall. Things like that that I can do in order to make steps towards really figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. Its been hard feeling like I can do that and feel good about it, when my work situation has been so miserable and hopeless. Once I can get in a better mindset about things - I feel like I can really dig into things and explore what I'm meant to do. Obviously, I don't think I'm going to be working at Revenue forever - but I think it will be a safe place for me to feel good about work, my co-workers and figuring out what I really want to do. Not to mention, I already have friends there - friends that I know I already connect with. And I know there are other good people to be working with - and that makes a WORLD of difference. If the people around you are good at work - it makes time fly and work that much more bareable.
So that is my great news - after blog after blog of me bitching about work - if anyone actually reads all of it - I have finally found an out and am moving on.
I know I'm not crazy for wanting to find a place to work where I know I'm an asset and am appreciated. All I can say is that tpt missed out on an incredibly intelligent person who could have really made a different. Their loss and the State of MN's gain! lol
Okay - I'll stop rambling now - but it feels good to get this information out.

Onto bigger and better things........new job, new baby (SOON hopefully!) and new house (sometime in the near future)! For someone who doesn't like change - there are a lot of POSITIVE changes happening - so I'm going to focus on that.

My final parting words are this........I heard this quote on the Real World - Brooklyn last night from one of the housemates and it really stuck with me as something I need to hold true to and remember -
"Never value the opinions of those you don't respect."
Pretty wise for a Real World person - but something that is very important to me coming from feeling bad about myself b/c of what someone else's opinion (that I don't even like) has been telling me. Not worth it when they are someone you don't respect.
Don't let anyone bring you down when you know what is really known to be true.

Peace and Hair Grease.