2011 - Oh Boy...!

2009 - 2010 - 2011 and beyond. I cannot believe how much time flies. 2010 has definitely been a year to remember. So many amazing things happened and I'm very grateful.
But it has also been one of the most difficult years of my life as well. Either way, I'm grateful for all of the things that have happened that have led me to this point in my life and am hoping and praying for an amazing 2011.
Like everyone else at this point in time - I am re-evaluating my life and everything in it. Looking toward the future with hope and fear and uncertainty.
I feel very blessed with the year I had. I planned a wedding in 7 months and married the love of my life on May 22nd. We had a fabulous wedding and honeymoon, and I am so grateful that all of that happened and had so much support from all of the people in our life that mean the most to us. Summer was great. Lots of time with friends and playing sports and busy as ever. Then bad news hit in August and we found out that Rian was losing his job. It was quite a blow, especially after all of the years and dedication Rian has given to the company.
We knew that in the long run this would be the best - but it still was/is a difficult thing to go through. We are still struggling with this, but luckily I was able to find a new (better paying) job and started working at Minnesota Public Radio in November. The bump in pay was huge for us and we are happy about that. We are still plugging away and trying to find something for Rian.

I always heard about people dealing with layoffs and unemployment, but I never fully understood what it was until this happened to us. Luckily, Rian and I have each other for support and also have my parents who have been amazing throughout this tough time. I realize that there are so many out there that have no support and I can't imagine how difficult that would make things.
Trying to look at the silver linings - at least we don't have any children we are trying to support or huge amount of debt (although having to buy a furnace in October wasn't a fun thing to do) and I still have a job and am able to cover both of us for insurance.
Overall, it is a huge learning experience for Rian and I and maybe something that happened to teach both of us and something that will help us for the rest of our lives. Lord knows I will never take for granted having a job ever again. And, I think we will take away some heavy lessons that will benefit us for the future. We have learned (what we already knew) how fun a night at home with movies or catching up on our DVR is instead of going out to dinner or to a bar. We enjoy cooking meals at home for each other or cooking together. We cut out the little things that we don't necessarily need (but sometimes enjoy buying). We have appreciated even more being able to go over to my parents house for dinner and enjoyed their company. I am realizing how lucky I am that Rian really likes my parents and is okay hanging out with them. I know that doesn't always work that way, so I really appreciate that from both sides.
We have and continue to learn a lot about life, our life and our situation. I am still completely keeping the faith that things will turn around for us and Rian will find a job soon. I am hopeful that 2011 will be a positive year full of new beginnings and opportunities.
I am ready to start enjoying being a newlywed and doing all those fun things. Creating our home together and our life together. We are still able to do a lot of that now, I just can't wait when we have more freedom to enjoy this time in our lives. We will get there and we will appreciate it even more.
Professionally, for me, I have started on a new adventure that I'm still trying to get used to and figure out. As anyone who is even remotely close to me knows that I seem to always be looking for a new job and a new opportunity. I do believe I have found a good place to be - yet (of course) I'm still desiring more/something different. Not sure if I will ever be satisifed with any current job, but I still feel like there is something more out there for me. Something that will actually fulfill whatever it is that has seem to have been void in my life all these years. Someday - Somehow!

Who knows - maybe 2011 is the year of the Heaslip's winning the lottery and all of these problems will be behind us.....for good.

Either way, I'm still searching, still hoping and still dreaming - I don't think I will ever stop dreaming.

Fashion is Chaos.

I'm convinced that all of my exceptional outfits, accessories, everything put together can only be done in a chaotic state. Whenever I have an idea in my head of what I am going to where and how it is going to look - it never turns out that way.
Yet, on random mornings when I have no idea what to wear - I seem to just put together a complete outfit and it just works.

Fashion cannot be forced. Fashion is a life style. Fashion is a (my) driving force.

Fashion is ever changing - which is why I can easily get bored of my clothes - yet cannot seem to part with them in case they come back full circle.

Carrie Bradshaw - one of my style icons - taught me to show my personality and my emotions through my clothes, to never be afraid of color and that accessories make the outfit.

When I'm (trying to) put an outfit together, I simply say to myself - WWCBW?

{What Would Carrie Bradshaw Wear}

Married Life....

Is GREAT!

Sorry I haven't updated in forever - but now I'm writing to you as Mrs. Noelle Heaslip. Crazy, I know. I don't have much to say at this moment but I will paste a few wedding pics!

More to follow, but here is a sneak peak!

ENJOY! More to come.....

Hard Work

No one ever said being a woman was easy - but man it is a lot of work. Just last night while I was getting ready for bed and it was taking me forever to do all the things I need to do before bed - I thought about how ridiculous it is and how much work we put into looking our best.
I really am not total high maintenance but with all of the wedding things coming up (ahem*my bachelorette party*ahem) I have been trying to pay more attention to the beauty things I could be doing to look my best.
This is what my "getting ready for bed" ritual has been for the past couple months.
Of course start with taking out my contacts. Then I wash my face with proactiv. I use the astringent and wipe all the dirt off my face. And finally end with the moiusturizer.
On the occasional nights - I will use the biore face strips to get all the crap out of my pours. Or will use the proactiv mask which you put on your face - wait ten minutes and then wash it off. Scared the hell out of Rian the other night when I laid in bed next to him with that thing on my face. lol
Then - because of an odd eczema flare up on my ankle (which I'm pretty sure was caused by stress and apparently likes to show itself on my leg/ankle) I have to put some cream on that spot as well.
Of course add in the q-tips to clean out the ol' ears.
After that - I brush my teeth and then I prepared my teeth molds for my whitening. My very kind dentist gives you (and your fiance) a free whitening kit before you get married as a nice little gift. They take the molds of your teeth and everything. So I had to put the gel in those and stick those bad boys in - giving me an uncomfortable lisp and possible drooling in the middle of the night.

All of that work - just to be somewhat presentable, or at least try to look the best I can. Now I'm not necessarily complaining. I enjoy knowing that I'm putting effort into my apprearence and doing what I can do look nice - but man it is a lot of work.
I won't even get into my "getting ready for a day" routine - with the shower and shaving and lotion and make up and hair spray! Oy! Too much!
Let's just say that I hope men (and women) appreciate the effort put into looking our best!

It's 10 O'Clock - - - Do you know where your manners are?

I'm not going to even apologize for my lack of blogging because I don't feel guilty that I haven't done much lately. I have about a million and one commitments right now - oh and planning a wedding in 6 months. ;-)

Here is my rant though....

Since when did everyone loose all manners and etiquette when it comes to weddings? Or maybe people never had it in the first place. Either way I just don't understand.
I will preface all of this with the fact that now that I am in the shoes of the wedding planner and organizer - I do feel guilty for some of my wedding etiquette in the past. I am guilty of some of it - but not to the extent of what I am dealing with. But I do feel bad and vow to always remember what it was like for me to be planning my wedding and how difficult people can be - and to understand the responsibility that comes with being invited to a wedding. It is not just a given - it is an honor. And I promise to treat it with much more respect than I ever did in the past.

With that said...what is wrong with people?!? I am dealing with stress upon stress when it comes to invitations and guest lists and numbers. I understand there is some unspoken etiquette with invitations and who is invited. I thought everyone knew that if your name is on the invitation - you are invited. If it isn't - then you aren't. And just because your name is written on it alone - doesn't mean that you are automatically allowed to bring a guest.
Apparently, some people do think they are allowed to bring a guest.
And yes - maybe I am starting things right off the bat with me having bad manners with the fact that I'm not able to invite everyone I want, let alone give everyone a guest. Maybe I'm in the wrong with that - but in my heart I just don't think so.
I (we) made a choice at the beginning of this process and picked a venue which does have space limitations. Forgive me for picking a place that unfortunately doesn't hold a crap load of people - but it does hold a special place in my heart for its uniqueness and beauty. I'm sorry that my tastes have offended people because I was unable to invite their truck load of children to my wedding.
ok - i'm getting off course.....
What I'm trying to say is that - I'm sorry I cannot please everyone and that I may have offended people by the limitations of my decisions. But at the same time - I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry that I decided what I wanted for ME and MY wedding - and it just so happened not to work out so well for you.
I have had multiple people write on their RSVP & guest, when the invitation was only sent to one. I don't understand why. If someone had a question - they should come to me and ask - before they just assume and then make me look like the jerk and stressing out more having to tell them that they cannot bring a guest. Or just leaving it as it is and working with the fact that they are bringing a random person that I've never met and I'm having to eliminate inviting a friend of mine. It is altogether so frustrating.
I've also had family members go through different people and channels to ask about their kids being invited. Which, unfortunately, their kids were not invited. I don't have space for my cousin's kids whom I don't even remember their names. I'm sorry - but I'm not okay with that. What I AM okay with is the same people not coming b/c their kids were not invited. All the more room to invite people that I actually WANT at my wedding.

I know this is a terrible vent/rant - but this really bothers me. It really bothers me that other peoples decisions have been bringing me more stress than I already have and it is so ridiculous.
I know I am probably in the wrong when it comes to family things. But at this point, I know who my family is whether they are blood related or not - and my true family will all be at my wedding. Others who may share blood with me but haven't spoken to me in years dont really constitute family to me.
I'm sure I will create some enemies after this event - but whatever. The people that matter are doing all they can to help me and be there for me. And the other people just dont' give a damn.
I just hope that the people who really don't give a damn and would just go to my wedding for the free meal would just stay home. But PLEASE RSVP No SOON so I can invite more of the people who actually matter.

Sorry for the rant - who knew bridezilla could sneak up on you so easily? ;-)

Peace OUT!

Why?

Why is it that I haven't really cried during the "big stuff" for the wedding - like buying or trying on my wedding dress, picking the venue or asking people to be involved in the wedding.....But it's those moments where I just happen to be doing random wedding things or just thinking about the day.
Like reading love poems online at work and crying in my cube or imagining what the day is going to be like and what it will be like to walk down the aisle and see everyone in the world who is important to me all in one place while running on the treadmill and starting to cry on the treadmill but being able to make it look like sweat and can easily be wiped away with my sweaty towel.

Both events happened yesterday. What is up?

You really CAN shorten them and wear them again!

Okay - maybe you can't shorten them, but I swear you can wear them again! My bridesmaid dresses that is! Honestly, I really did pick the one that I would want to wear again. I'm actually kind of jealous that I didn't get to buy one too! lol
The only thing that is really missing is I REALLY wanted pockets in the dresses. Unfortunately, that couldn't really happen and I figured it wasn't worth the hassle of stressing out trying to find the perfect dress with pockets. I can just imagine that they are there.
In any case, I really wanted to find a green dress but the style of dress was more important to me than the color. I figured if I found a dress I liked but it didn't have the green I wanted, I could still go with black. And that is what happened. But black totally works considering we are doing black, white/ivory and green as wedding colors. Very classic. Plus, with black dresses, we can totally jazz them up with accessories! As I always say - Accessories make the outfit!
So, I am on the hunt for some fun and funky green jewlery that my maids can wear and look FAB!
I also know from someone's personal experience that this is a super comfy dress. The material is NOT like the regular bridesmaid dress material, which I think is great. I wanted to get as far away from the "typical bridesmaid dress" as I could. You know me, I like to do the opposite of what everyone else does. lol We're all lucky I'm wearing a somewhat traditional gown. For my first communion, when i was 8 years old, I didnt' want to wear the traditional white dress that all little girls "should" wear for their First Communion - so I wore a colorful, flowery dress. lol It started early and probably will never go away.
But for now...here the the picture of the dress. Remember - it is black and it will be shorter, like knee length. It will be May after all! :-)

Where It's At!

I'll try to do some wedding recaps of planning so far (if anyone really cares. lol)

We will be having our ceremony AND reception in the Gilbert Building at 413 on Wacouta in Lowertown Downtown St. Paul. Ironicaly, Lowertown has become a new hip and happening spot with new bars opening up like The Bulldog and Barrio. A great historic district with beautiful sights like Mears Park and in the warmer months the St. Paul Farmers Market is perfect on a sunny, Saturday morning. I feel really lucky that we will be in such a neat area and also in a vintagey, historic building.
Since I'm kind of a history nerd - here is a little bit about the building where all of these amazing things for us will be happening...

The Gilbert Building is named in honor of its creator – architect Cass Gilbert. Examples of his art are still admired throughout the United States. The Minnesota State Capitol Building. The Woolworth Building in New York City. The United States Supreme Court Building in Washington, D.C. Before undertaking these famous projects, Cass Gilbert made a name for himself designing some of the most stately buildings in what is now known as Lowertown, Saint Paul’s warehouse district.
In 1893, Gilbert designed a five-story building at 413 Wacouta Street for the Boston and Northwest Realty Company. Records from the early 1900s describe the building as “one of the best business structures in Saint Paul.” The building is recognized by the National Register of Historic Places. Today, Cass Gilbert’s achievement is reborn as the Gilbert Building.

I just love the fact that the building where we are getting married has an amazing and rich St. Paul tradition. (now that I have converted Rian to the right side of the river!)
This building is a new space, especially for weddings. They are still in construction building the ceremony suite which is where our ceremony will be held. I'm a bit anxious knowing that I have no clue what that important space will look like, but I'm keeping the faith that it will be beautiful. I think our wedding will be maybe the 2nd or 3rd wedding held in that space, so it will be all spiffy and new for us!
The reception area is in the basement of the building and has its own uniquness as well. It looks very old school and vintage. I love the exposed limestone and the green piping. I also love the pictures all around the walls of St. Paul back in the day. Here is a sneak peak...

I also love all the different things you can do with lighting in a room like that. Not much decorating has to be done when you already have a neat space.
Another part of Wacouta that I love is the bridal suite and getting ready area. That helped to sell me knowing that I would be able to get my hair and make-up done all there. It will help my stress level a ton just knowing that we only have to go to one place and once I am there I can relax (or try to) and enjoy the getting ready process and know that I am set. That is one of the things I am most excited for. lol There is plenty of room for all of my girls to be around, which will be amazing.

This is the actual Bridal Suite...

This is the fireplace room which is off of the Bridal Suite so there is a ton of room to have lots of people hanging out - plus they have a bar area where we can put some breakfast trays and champagne of course!

That is just a little recap of where it's all happening! Wish I had a picture of the ceremony suite - only in my mind I guess. ;-)

Register, Schmegister

Considering that it is exactly 123 days until I become Mrs. Noelle Heaslip - things are really starting to roll and I'm really starting to freak out.
Did anyone freak out about changing their name? I never really thought about it, but its kind of weirding me out now. Just typing it all out freaks me out. lol I guess it is a reality, but it is still a weird thing to consider. Rian will tease me and call me Noelle Heaslip and it weirds me out, yet it is happening soon. Like 123 days soon!

On top of that, I'm just getting weirded out that everything is actually happening. I honestly never thought this day would come and now I'm planning my wedding. I'm also stressing planning the wedding as well. For someone like me who has an INCREDIBLY difficult time making any decisions, you can understand how this would only multiply everything and stress me out even more.

But right now I have a question for all who are reading and could REALLY use the help and advice. I'm just wondering....

*What things about your wedding did you love and are so glad you did?
*What things about your wedding do you wish you wouldn't have spent the time or money on and would not have done if you had to do it again?

And the same goes for registering....

*What are you so glad you registered for and love?
*What do you wish you wouldn't have bothered with on your registry?

I keep telling people how frustrating it is planning a wedding because (hopefully/usually) you only ever plan one, so its everyone's first time doing everything!

Any other advice being four months out? I know it seems like forever away, but of course it isn't and there is much to be done, especially in the next couple months. I know I can't control having a lot to do close to the wedding, but I would like to try and get as much done as I can now so that I can enjoy the months leading up with showers and things.

So.....comment away - or if you are feeling really ambitious - email me! noelle.fastner@gmail.com

Thanks Ladies! :-)

ps: I will try to show pics of some of the main things I have picked for the wedding in my next post!